X Factor and Mr Cowell.

It seems that while American Idol is touting every name under the sun as their new judge  Mr Cowells’ new baby , X  Factor is gathering up some unfavorable press in it’s homeland, the UK . Maybe the backlash is imminent and Britain is doing as Britain does,  builds ’em up to knock ’em down. As X Factor preps for it’s US debut it is now several seasons old in the UK and although he would never admit it there must be some nerves over the anticipated launch. Let’s face it Simon has set himself up where he has to live up to his own previous achievements. Mind you I’d suffer the stress for it’s rewards, I suppose.

So will the media be poised with knives at the ready to carve in to the chosen one? Nah I’m just speculating now with the rest. You see the thing is that Simon plays the game like a master, he knows exactly how to have the media love him. He has seen it from both sides and he’s smart enough to know that without them he has no job and subsequently no lifestyle. He would never let that happen after stumbling a few times on the way. When you wait that long to get something as big as this you’re smarter than the rest of the pack. It would be very hard for Simon Cowell to slip let alone fall.

When you look at the PR machine in play I bet Tiger Woods wished he had Cowell doing his image protection. I still look at that whole fiasco as the worse PR job I have ever seen. The boy with everything just allowed his people to sit back and do nothing. I blame all of them, why one didn’t step up to the table and confront the other and politely ask, ‘er should we be not getting a little busier round here? ‘ is beyond me. We live in  the age of image and if the public perceives you as something then you better make sure you live up to what they expect of you.  And family men do not play around with families other than their own, I wouldn’t have thought that anyone need tell him that. But of course Tiger is invincible so he thinks he can do as he wishes. Go away now, we’ve had enough of you. Tiger could so Tiger would.? Not anymore as he desperately clings on to his declining fortune. I wonder if he remembers life before his millions?

agree with. That should piss them of and giver them nothing to write about. Remember media and how to handle it? Tiger Woods, disaster, David Lettereman the opposite. When Letterman was accused of having affairs with female he came out and admitted it. When Tiger was over Tigering himself he thought he was invincible and his world came crumbling along with any ounce of credibility. Now he’s 50% less of whatever iron it is golfers pull out on this part of the course.

We’ve been Tigerless on this blog for months but I have to say everything I predicted  (although predicting was hardly difficult) on here jumped up to bite his Tiger bottom. And it’s been around to haunt him for over 8 months. And it will forever be there becasue of how he behaved. I don’t understand golf but you need to stick the ball in the hole and win your games, I know that much. Seems he wasn’t the golfer he was so now without that going for you how long will it ( you) last. If you’re not winning then you’re a loser.

Filed under: mistakes, TV, TV hosts, View from the room, american idol, Simon Cowell, Tiger Woods, X Factor

Let’s go Ga Ga

The one thing that keeps us rockers rolling is belief.  We grew up believing in the dream and hard as the industry has worked at screwing it all up  we still hold on to that belief. We love Ga GA, we have to love Ga Ga because she rubs their dirty faces in it and shows us that IF you put something out there that the public actually want, make it sexy and make it relevant then guess what, they’ll go buy it.

Lady Ga Ga didn’t need a record company. In fact the man with the golden touch Antonio ‘LA’ Reid signed her and dropped her in three months, yep the man who signed Pink, Maria Carey, Justin Bieber, Avril Lavigne, TLC, Usher, Outkast and Dido and took them all to multi-platinum status missed out on Ga Ga. How the hell did that happen? It makes you wonder that if she’d have had that clout behind her then what might she have achieved? It’s a shame she’s only managed to sell 15 million albums and 40 million singles in just over two years…

Now we can’t dismiss Jimmy Iovine and the Interscope crew entirely, I suppose they must have done something but when we live in the age of the artist doing all the work I think she kind of surpassed that.  Lady Ga Ga kind of surpasses everything. She’s dragged the average Joe (and Josephine) off the street and in to anywhere that’s still open and selling records. She sent them to their computer, to borrow someone else’s computer and she has got the whole house jumping again. Listen record industry and listen good, if you can get your grubby hands on something that excites people they will buy it.

Let’s go Ga Ga, it’s a good place to be right now. She kicked the industry right where it hurt. While they ‘assumed ‘they knew what we wanted they weren’t even close. Did they really think the public was this stupid? We’ll tell them what they need to like and send them out to buy it, right? No I don’t think so Mr Record company, sadly you got it so wrong. You pushed people away. you made them realize they don’t need music after all. The jury’s out, why the hell did you do that?

Take me Ga Ga I’m yours. I’m not even your target market but I love you. That’s it though isn’t it, the real pop star has no target market they appeal to the masses. Remember Michael Jackson? He targeted the market, every damn one of them. A fan base of everyone who had a wallet, a song and dance man on a mission. An entertainer and a very good one at that and someone who the music industry should have gone back and studied. But that would be admitting they made a mistake and they don’t make mistakes do they?

Filed under: mistakes, record companies, View from the room, jimmy iovine, Lady Ga Ga, Michael Jackson, music industry, record companies

Industry with no know

I’m not getting dragged in to the Idol mass debate, I’m done,  I’ll wait until they finally arrive at a decision regarding the new judges. I thought Tyler and Lopez had been confirmed but apparently not. Actually I’m suprissd at myself more than anything for being taken in by all the furore, I’m not that type of guy. I’m a cynical old fool when it comes to the record industry. That’s how I survived, I saw it as fun first and foremost. I thought it was a total hoot that someone was going to pay me to indulge in my hobby. I thought, if it lasted 6 months it would be a great six months and I could tell my grandchildren, but it lasted over thirty years. A lot of fun and a load of hard work, but what’s work when you’re having fun?

There were a good few of us from that era did it proud though, we LOVED making a living out of a hobby. It isn’t hard to get up in the morning when you love your job. There was no such thing as Monday morning…… Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, bring it on. Midday or Midnight, we were there. We believed in the dream because we made the dream a reality. If someone gave me a great record to promote I felt it my duty to tell others, and what an honor it was. I couldn’t wait to run round the country and barge in to every radio station and enthuse. I had people just as receptive in radio and television, they wanted good tunes and I had shit loads of them! My belief became their belief.

Island Records was a pretty damn fine place to start, Bob Marley, Steve Winwood, John Martyn, Robert Palmer and then of course U2. It could have been worse because there were still a few labels thinking shit worked. Well it didn’t. In fact I’d ask people if they ever gave me a shit record what did they expected me to do with it. And that included you Mr Cowell !  Power Rangers, Zig and Zag and some bus conductor from Coventry. And a dreadful all girl band from Australia who came and went in around a week, thank God. Reminds me, it’s nice when crap doesn’t sell. He thought they’d be the next Spice Girls….more like The Lice Girls. Good bloke though, shit taste in music but a good bloke. He senses a hit and makes it happen in just enough time before the public gets wise to it. By then he’s robbed them of all their cash and it’s on to the next. He’s Robin Hood.

It never ceases to amaze me how a music industry for so long thinks things are always going too be the next so and so. Pray tell 40 years later where are the next Led Zeppelin, the next Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Neil Young or Bob Dylan. They don’t exist, great talent that lasts is unique, you  have the dross that filters through but it never lasts. We all get dog shit on our shoes but we flick it off once we know it’s there. There is a dictionary for the word talent, please use it.

I’m still a believing kind of guy, what was that all time famous karaoke song Journey gave us, ‘Don’t stop believing?’  Too many times we’ve had the midnight train going nowhere and still the music industry assumes the public are thick and will buy what they are told to. Well the public just woke up, shit doesn’t sell. Back in the day the lovable Monkees told us, ‘I’m a Believer.’ Let’s hang on to that notion and believe in real talent, let’s encourage it to come through. But can we please have some help from those who are in a position to help? OK, I expected as much.

OK TM time, we’re back in Time Module. Let’s go back to Elvis, to The Beatles to a whole host of relevant exciting bands and artists that got everyone on the same playing field. We all needed music in our lives because it enriched all our  lives. It made them happy, it made us happy. It sent them to work happy it sent them in to relationships happy. It got them paid and it got them laid.

I am about to enter a very noisy time about the music industry, trust me I know me as well as anyone. There are things that need debating and thank you Mr and Mrs Internet for giving me that platform to vent. Why sit around in music industry conference and debate it amongst yourselves, what the hell will that solve.? You got it wrong for so long now and you’re still getting it wrong. Let Joe and Jospehine public have their say.

If it’s anything else and it’s gone past it’s sell by date they remove it from the shelf, here they just repackage it and force feed it us again and again! Plenty more to come but for now, I am at peace.

Filed under: About The Engine Room, record companies, View from the room, Island Records, music industry, Record business, Simon Cowell

Idol idle idle I

And here we go, more speculation about America Idol. Well not speculation at all really but more than enough for me to speculate , pontificate and no doubt regurgitate. Like it or not it’s coming back. We have the new producer, same as the old producer because it is in fact the old producer. He said he’d get rid of the panel, Ellen jumped before she was pushed., Karen got totaled and put out to pasture and tell me why they ever thought a fourth judge would work when for 8 years they agreed it didn’t. And then they got her? Why on earth did they ever think she would have made an impact, I mean we are not talking Lady Ga Ga here we are plain ga ga. I’m a sucker for  a pouting femme fatale but she never moved my sorry ass. In fact I’m annoyed, I’d be a better judge and I pout a whole lot better too. And anyway I’d have more than enough to say. Lame ass, spineless mob. Come and get me.

I predicted the demise of American Idol in my blog last Fall and also that Simon would be leaving. Come on it wasn’t rocket science now was it? But unfortunately the powers that greed have decided on a resurrection, by Easter it’ll be dead. They can’t accept that it has past it’s sell by date, if it was on a shelf in a grocery store they would be forced to remove it and yet we are now having to watch the mold before our very eyes. American Idol has made Fox a fortune so why aren’t they happy?

Last years finale was a complete non event, a forgettable fellow with a plastic smile and a girl called Baldybollocks or something who squeezed a dental appointment in just prior to judgement day. The final, or should I say the ‘Bye bye Simon Cowell show, oh before you go do you like either of these two?’ Sadly it was a total non event and quite frankly they should be ashamed to expect half of America to stay in and watch the circus. Simon Cowell looked even more bored than I was.

I had to laugh at the roll call of ‘potential’ new judges. First we had Howard Stern, I said it before and I’ll say it again……er why are you going to ask a man who has millions of dollars and porn stars to line up alongside something that has neither. However many millions they might offer him he has more. Although Ellen and Howard could have jockeyed a little for pole position and ended up on Comedy Central. Howard takes no prisoners but let’s get real here, it was NEVER going to happen. They might have well have thrown in Bill Clinton, Nelson Mandela and the South Korean goalkeeper called Phuk, they all would have garnished up the publicity and still not of them would have signed up.

So Nigel Lythgoe thinks he can dance up the panel. Not sure big guy, don’t think you’ll pull it off. I know he won’t, everything that passes it’s sell by date doesn’t bounce back. We’re not talking Led Zeppelin getting back together here, Idol doesn’t matter. We no longer care, are we seriously still going to use that word Idol? Are we further going to blaspheme the great names of Marilyn, Elvis and James Dean. Is he who won ( still no idea of his name. Does he have one or do we call him season 10 winner?) going to be the subject of books, films or conspiracy theories in years to come?

And what will they be doing to get the press on their side? Apart from a press release announcing a new judging panel which media would carry  more through obligation than desire. They loved Simon but now that their bastard love child has defected where will their affections lie. Are they really this slutty? And of course there is the major new announcement, wait for it Jennifer Lopez? Who the hell came up with that idea, was it because of her bum when she appeared at The Charleys or whatever awards she slithered around in.  Sorry for being cruel but what the hell has Jennifer Lopez got to do with anything? George Lopez, now we’re talking.

OK I might have appeared flustered but you made me do this. You woke me from blog slumber, you made me jump up and down. I was cleaning the fridge, this is worse! I now have to watch if only to know that I have more idea about what works than they do. Castle is better and Beckett is hot! Hotter than J-Lo and STEVEN TYLER. Oh yes we forgot that they had managed to get Tyler, that will at least get the Comedy channel interested in the repeats. Why would our winner want to be Tyler? Liv yes, Steven NOOOOOO. We are now creating Trainwreck Idol. Let’s get Lindsay on the panel , in fact the whole of the lowly Lohans and lets have something as truly ludicrous as we can make it. Let’s have a laugh at our own expense before you force yours on us.

I have more to say but for now I need to find a shirt to iron. I hope your day gets better than this.

Filed under: TV, View from the room, american idol, comedy central, Howard Stern, jennifer lopez, Simon Cowell