Idol goes where Idol knows.

When will people ever learn? Someone told me Steven Tyler was confirmed for American Idol, great. Remember  when he fell over and had to cancel  his own Aerosmith tour ? Nothing like having a team you can rely on, eh. And now apparently Idol bosses are close to confirming the arrival of…..Jennifer Lopez. WHAT!!! Who the hell cares and why are they throwing millions away negotiating with someone who’s had her day when they could have ME!! Start the campaign, ‘Yo Toe No J Lo.’

But hey, roll back the tape. What made American Idol a household name in the first place? It succeeded because the brain that is Simon Fuller thought a guy he knew, from his dealings with BMG called Simon Cowell  would work. He ( Fuller) stuck him on Pop Idol, it’s UK mummy and when Cowell didn’t want to do the US version  Simon Fuller convinced him he shoud. Even Cowell didn’t think America would like him. Well I hope Simon ( Cowell) bought Simon ( Fuller) a couple of mansions and some yachts by way of a thank you. Simon did what Simon said. You’ve done better than any artist you signed previous to your massive success and many congratulations , sir. You made it your own.

And so to the point. American Idol is huge because of him. He was a nobody no one had heard of on a show that no one wanted. Every network turned it down.  Someone presenting an idea of a talent show?  Now there’s a great idea, I wonder why no one had thought of that in the past.

Am I dreaming here but have they not seen first hand with Ellen de Generic that famous people don’t work so why rally round and think that getting judges who people have heard of is going to save it’s ass. Let’s get The Pope, everyone knows him don’t they? It’s obviously all about massaging the sponsors as per usual, I mean they couldn’t announce someone no one heard of now could they? Well I beg to differ. Even if you’re shit and unknown you can be popular today so if you’re unknown and on a show people have heard of then you could be Simon Cowell. Curiosity will tempt people in to watch the first few episodes but then once they’ve  seen fading pop stars trying to entertain they’ll do what they did last time, go. Only this time they’ll be off in in their droves. Push out Idol, people will respect you more whatever happens if you are trying to break out of the old boring and tired presenter  format.  And anyway I’m not shit and Randy and me would get on. Let me loose on them, I’d shake it up. I’m funnier than Cowell and with a much better record collection.

Let’s find some real talent, some stuff that might stand the test of time, something that not only can be successful but that can remain successful. Let’s make some noise and let’s make some noise people can take home and enjoy. With the power of a television show of that magnitude, boy could we help the music industry. As long as you have some faith and want to help the business rather than yourself that is. That’s the acid test after all… so no it won’t happen. It’s a money magnet, more and more of it for a select few. Can you imagine if some of that money was pumped in to new artists that might take a little longer to develop. Wow would we have an innovative ground breaking show then. Fancy having the power to change the music industry through the power of television.

American Idol needs some new blood. I wish they cared enough so we all could benefit from a show that made a difference.

Filed under: TV, TV hosts, View from the room, american idol, J-Lo, Simon Cowell, simon fuller, Steven Tyler

X Factor and Mr Cowell.

It seems that while American Idol is touting every name under the sun as their new judge  Mr Cowells’ new baby , X  Factor is gathering up some unfavorable press in it’s homeland, the UK . Maybe the backlash is imminent and Britain is doing as Britain does,  builds ’em up to knock ’em down. As X Factor preps for it’s US debut it is now several seasons old in the UK and although he would never admit it there must be some nerves over the anticipated launch. Let’s face it Simon has set himself up where he has to live up to his own previous achievements. Mind you I’d suffer the stress for it’s rewards, I suppose.

So will the media be poised with knives at the ready to carve in to the chosen one? Nah I’m just speculating now with the rest. You see the thing is that Simon plays the game like a master, he knows exactly how to have the media love him. He has seen it from both sides and he’s smart enough to know that without them he has no job and subsequently no lifestyle. He would never let that happen after stumbling a few times on the way. When you wait that long to get something as big as this you’re smarter than the rest of the pack. It would be very hard for Simon Cowell to slip let alone fall.

When you look at the PR machine in play I bet Tiger Woods wished he had Cowell doing his image protection. I still look at that whole fiasco as the worse PR job I have ever seen. The boy with everything just allowed his people to sit back and do nothing. I blame all of them, why one didn’t step up to the table and confront the other and politely ask, ‘er should we be not getting a little busier round here? ‘ is beyond me. We live in  the age of image and if the public perceives you as something then you better make sure you live up to what they expect of you.  And family men do not play around with families other than their own, I wouldn’t have thought that anyone need tell him that. But of course Tiger is invincible so he thinks he can do as he wishes. Go away now, we’ve had enough of you. Tiger could so Tiger would.? Not anymore as he desperately clings on to his declining fortune. I wonder if he remembers life before his millions?

agree with. That should piss them of and giver them nothing to write about. Remember media and how to handle it? Tiger Woods, disaster, David Lettereman the opposite. When Letterman was accused of having affairs with female he came out and admitted it. When Tiger was over Tigering himself he thought he was invincible and his world came crumbling along with any ounce of credibility. Now he’s 50% less of whatever iron it is golfers pull out on this part of the course.

We’ve been Tigerless on this blog for months but I have to say everything I predicted  (although predicting was hardly difficult) on here jumped up to bite his Tiger bottom. And it’s been around to haunt him for over 8 months. And it will forever be there becasue of how he behaved. I don’t understand golf but you need to stick the ball in the hole and win your games, I know that much. Seems he wasn’t the golfer he was so now without that going for you how long will it ( you) last. If you’re not winning then you’re a loser.

Filed under: mistakes, TV, TV hosts, View from the room, american idol, Simon Cowell, Tiger Woods, X Factor

Fallen, beaten Idol

I don’t take any pleasure in gloating and indeed I’m not but I’m hardly suprised to see the ratings in American Idol have plummeted to the lowest since 2002 when the monster show rolled in to town and when no one really knew or cared who Simon Cowell was. Don’t take my word for it. http://kl.am/bWed

This season’s lame attempt to better all the others has fallen short on every level imaginable. Firstly, and without question the weakest selection of contestants in their history. Not far behind in second place is the panel, surely they can see that? Right from it’s inception Simon had convinced the program makers that four judges just didn’t work, they tried it  a couple of times to try to prove him wrong. So they all agreed with him then, what changed?.

The secret to success and continued success in television is to understand your audience and to understand what they want, what they need and what tempts them to watch in the first place. Yes try something different but American Idol is not a show that is about radical change. This is wallpaper TV, it’s pap, it’s fodder. Simon would agree, it’s not there to reinvent the wheel, it’s not even there to oil it. It’s there for it to go round and round. They, the audience  need a staple diet of something they can understand, something they can relate to. And let’s be brutally honest we are appealing to the least discerning viewer here, they don’t have really high standards, they just like to be entertained. In it’s heyday American Idol provided that but now each series is trying to upstage the last, do something different. But it’s not about change , it’s about lowest common denominator, this is not the Educational Channel damn it !

American Idol is losing out to Dancing with the Stars here in America, now let’s note the difference here. Oh yes that’s it, DWTS’s has stars on it not faceless wannabees. OK we’ve solved the problem, people watch someone who has done something rather than someone who is trying to do everything. Why are we subjected to these people doing Beatles songs, then Elton John songs then Frank Sinatra??? Is it Slipnot next week, maybe Marilyn Manson or possibly The Grateful Dead?

When are they ever be going to make a record with eleven different cover versions on it, when are they ever going to tour that? We are not talking Rod Stewart doing this, Rod has earned it, Rod can do what he wants. These aren’t multi talented singers, they are people being pulled out of a car park with an opportunity of a lifetime sent out by the machine to do as they are told. How ludicrous to put Crystal Botox or whatever she’s called in a gown, she’s not a gowny girl! She won’t win a Grammy so she won’t ever wear one again. She’ll be locked out of the ball.

American Idol has outstayed it’s welcome, doesn’t Simon sooooo want out? You can see every tortured  smile, every ‘let me out of here’ gesture. He knew this was his swansong but contractually he had to turn up and smile. Good luck with X Factor Simon, like you have any competition?

And of course there is Ryan Seacrest.

Filed under: TV, TV hosts, american idol, Frank Sinatra, Ryan Seacrest

Being Simon

How can you hate Simon Cowell?  Yet I met someone the other day who said just that, ‘I hate Cowell.’ Now I can understand if you’re a music fan and don’t like the way Simon indulges his pop pastime, fair enough but to hate him? There isn’t anything to hate about him, he’s actually very good at everything he does.

Before we start to dig deeper in to the man let’s start with image. Now Tiger the tosser could have done worse than put a call in to him. When have you ever seen Simon Cowell on the front pages of Newsweek, Entertainment doo dah and TMZ? That’s just it, he’s a public figure of great renown and yet his private life is both public and private. You never see him sneaking out of some porn star’s hot tub at 5am clad in a leopardskin towel, he’s never been stoned at Ozfest and he doesn’t shag at Wendy’s. And even if he did it’s not on anyone’s menu.  Simon actually conducts himself brilliantly both on and off camera.

He always has a word for photographers and journalists, he’ll even cross a busy road and leave his swanky car to offer a comment and a smile. He’s actually  a completely charming man. What others don’t realize is that if the media is always getting a ‘no comment’ they naturally get pissed off. Their job is to report and if they report nothing then they’ll have no one reading or watching. If you ask Simon if he’s getting married he’ll give you a Simon smile and people then report that he smirked when asked the question rather than berate him for being awkward. Whether or not he’s getting married is private but he doesn’t look like thunder when you ask him, he understands. He plays the game and he’s a master at it. Like any public celebrity he also understands how far they go to publicize him and as that affords him all the things in life he loves then why piss them off?

Simon’s a master manipulator of the media, the artists and all who surround him. He knows when to push and when to hold back and he knows exactly what he wants to get out of who. He is also the master who paid his apprenticeship by watching others. He watched he listened and he learned. His understanding of the media is as good as I’ve ever witnessed. He revels in all the attention, it’s his job to let everyone know what he’s up to and he does it brilliantly. People are bound to watch for a variety of reasons.

So if you still don’t like him just ask yourself why you don’t like him and you’ll probably end up discovering there’s more to like about him than to dislike.

Filed under: TV, TV hosts, View from the room, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell